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Control then lack of it

Our conversation on here yesterday - and thank you for it @sue_m_c - got me thinking about control. Control in my life.

When I look back, aspects of my childhood lacked, at times, predictability. For that reason, as an adult I made a conscious effort to be in control. Of myself and to the best of my ability, my environment. When I think about it, my scientific research reflects that very well. To design an experiment I wanted to test one thing, whilst keeping everything else controlled and identical in its entirety! I didn't like my control being taken away - I suppose it gave me feelings of helplessness similar to when I was young - leading to feelings of panic.

So in Melbourne I was working hard at my job in the lab, painting when I was at home, enjoying going out with my friends, exploring a new city then.....


I wake up after a long period of time in a coma and have absolutely no idea how I got into my hospital bed and why I was in the hospital bed. That control had been completely taken away. What. The Fuck.

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