So, there I am, home from hospital. When Paul went to work I had the bed to myself to sleep in. But it wasn't always sleep. Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be a little bit obsessive.
So what actually happened? Who was I with? Where was I? Did anyone see me fall? Could someone have pushed me? What happened after it?
I used to lie there and mull. Over and over and over. Trying to remember.
So that day I worked in the lab in the morning - don't remember
Played football in the afternoon - don't remember
Walked home and put on a dress (my one and only) - vague memory at home of feeling nervous about going to the Honours Dinner. But saying to myself that whatever happens I scored a goal at football which was great
Walked into uni, had dinner, caught tram to bar - no memory
Had tbi, ambulance, hospital, surgery, coma - no memory
So the bang to my head wiped my short term memory almost completely, but let me tell you this. Fast forward a year and Paul and I were travelling in Africa. We were in Zambia. Paul woke up one morning and went for a wander, leaving me in bed.
A memory suddenly came to me
I was walking out of a building on Melbourne Uni campus. It was dark. I had my long coat on, reached into my pocket, brought out a box of cigarettes. I took one out, lit it and looked up to the sky, enjoying the nicotine hit.
The shock of the memory made me freeze. The only time I'd been on campus after dark was that night. Yes I was wearing my long coat, yes I had box cigarettes in my pocket.
I was scared then that I'd get more memories, ones I didn't want to have. But since then there's been nothing.