Identity

My OU work this week is concentrating on the identities of people in the community. It explains how identity is made up of several factors in your life, your sex, your age, your ethnicity, your job, your family.

As I was reading, something suddenly occurred to me. What I’m learning about is something I feel like I can really identify with. Why? Because on 9th September 2008 my identity changed within a few seconds when I fell.

My neuroscientist career instantly disappeared

Some close friends I had over time, became more distant

A member of my family, my sister, disappeared from my life

The productivity of my life that was run by painting, work, friends and family dramatically ground to a halt.

As I’m reading in the OU coursework into what identities mean in life, and what it means to other people around you, all I can feel is that there’s a big gap in my thinking about my brain injury. All I’ve felt since it happened is the feeling of:

“things just aren’t what they used to be.

My life doesn’t feel as meaningful as it used to.

What am I even achieving now, I used to be so much more constructive.”

Why all these things? Because my identity has changed. And I’ve been searching for a new meaning, a meaning that means something to me. A purpose.

Which takes me to a comment my husband made to me last week. As we were driving along, he said “since you started this OU thing it feels as though you feel you have more purpose in your life”.